


Never Been Kissed

by pinecovewoods



Category: Dear Evan Hansen, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Recreational Drug Use, Some Cursing, Underage Drinking, couple of f bombs at the end lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-16 18:17:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16959093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinecovewoods/pseuds/pinecovewoods
Summary: "I don't want to be eighteen and never been kissed," she breathes, shaking her head, "it's stupid, I know, and it's definitely not the worst thing in the world to be but, I dunno. I guess reading books and watching movies about people falling in love...makes a girl lonely, you know."





	Never Been Kissed

"Can I ask you a personal question?" She asks, practically flopping onto the boys bed next to him.

"Do you ever ask anything else?" Connor questions back, half a smile on his face. "You're my best friend, of course you can, go for it."

She hesitates anyway, picking at her nail.

"Have you ever kissed anyone?"

Connor practically chokes on his saliva, swallowing roughly. He shakes his head, also staring down at his fingers instead of looking at her.

"Nope," he says, "missed out on that high school experience I guess. Why are you asking?"

"Wanted to know if I was the only one who hadn't kissed someone during high school," she mumbles, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, "felt like I was, so I wanted to know for sure."

"I think we're the only two eighteen year olds in this town that haven't kissed anyone," Connor says with a scoff-like laugh, running a hand through his hair.

They sit in silence for a few minutes, the girl's thoughts racing.

"I can hear you thinking," Connor says, nudging her with his elbow, "what's on your mind?"

"I don't want to be eighteen and never been kissed," she breathes, shaking her head, "it's stupid, I know, and it's definitely not the worst thing in the world to be but, I dunno. I guess reading books and watching movies about people falling in love...makes a girl lonely, you know."

Connor slips a gentle arm around her shoulders, nodding slightly.

"I know," he says, "but you're not alone, you've got me. You've always got me."

"Maybe we should..." she trails off, looking once again at her finger nails, "maybe we could kiss each other? Like, just to get it out of the way?"

Connor looks at the side of her face, and then he shrugs.

"What the hell, why not," he says, and the girl's gaze snaps up to meet his, "as long as your sure."

"I'm sure," she nods.

Connor swallows again, adams apple bobbing as she watches. He places a gentle hand on her cheek, tilting her head up slightly as he leans down. He sets his lips on top of hers, but it's her that actually moves first, pushing on the back of his neck to press their lips together fully. She keeps him there, fingers tangling in the hair that usually rests right at his shoulders.

"That was," Connor pulls away, just slightly, and Y/N thinks she can see a hint of a smile on his face, "really good."

"Yeah?" She asks, smiling as well. "I think you're right."

"And now we are no longer eighteen year olds who've never been kissed," Connor says in an official tone, nodding once.

She laughs a bit, and nods back. She sticks her hand out to him.

"Pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Murphy," she says.

"You as well, Miss. Y/L/N," he takes her outstretched hand, shaking it up and down, "you as well."

—

She watches him bring the joint up to his mouth, the bass pumping through the basement as he inhales.

"Any particular reason you're staring at Connor's lips?" Evan's voice comes from behind her, and she turns to face him.

"Dunno what you're talking about," she says, swirling the liquid in her cup, "I was just staring in the distance, Connor just happened to be there."

"Mmhmm," Evan hums, shrugging unconvinced, "you'd tell me if there was something going on, right?"

"Course I would, Ev," she replies, "but there's not, so no gossip for you. Sorry bud."

Evan looks like he's going to argue before being dragged away by Zoe, and Connor soon takes his place.

"What was that about?"

"Nothing," she replies, trying hard not to stare at the smoke billowing out from his parted lips, "just Evan being Evan. You gonna share or what?"

Connor smirks, handing her the joint and watching her bring it up to her mouth and taking a deep drag.

_Stop staring at her lips you freak._

"Damn, that's good," she says, blowing the smoke to the side, "thanks."

Connor nods, taking the rolled paper out form her fingers.

"You wanna maybe," he shrugs, motioning his head towards the stairs, "go outside, get some fresh air?"

"Sure," she says, an easy smile spreading across her face.

They make their way up the stairs and out into the cool night air, Connor taking another quick drag. He passes it to her, and she does the same, immediately downing the rest of her drink after.

"Whoa there," Connor laughs, "someone wants to get twisted tonight."

Y/N shrugs, looking down at the grass.

"Guess I do, yeah."

"Something on your mind?"

She shakes her head, but Connor doesn't believe her.

"Well, there's something on mine," he mumbles, smoke following his words.

"Oh?" She looks up at him, curiosity in her eyes. "What's that?"

Connor doesn't speak, instead he cups her face with his hands and presses their mouths together again, savoring the taste of weed mixed with vodka that lingers on her lips. He kisses her deep and slow, trying to memorize the feeling of being connected to her before he finally pulls away.

"Connor," she breathes as soon as his lips leave hers, trying to catch his gaze.

"S-sorry," he shakes his head, backing away from her, "I gotta go."

"Connor, wai-"

"I gotta go," he repeats, practically running out of the house.

She stares at the spot he once filled, eyes searching the empty space as if he would somehow reappear if she looked hard enough.

"What the hell..."

—

Connor lays on his bed, ignoring the semi-constant buzzing of his phone on the bedside table. He runs his hands over his face, letting out a loud groan in frustration, and he shoots straight up when he hears the window pane slide open, eyes falling on her frame.

"What the hell Y/N?"

"You've ignored me for a week," the girl says, pulling herself through the window and basically tumbling onto his floor, "desperate times and such."

Connor sighs, laying back down while throwing his forearm over his eyes.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay," he says, "what I did was stupid and impulsive. I was high and a little more than twisted and you were smoking with me and I just...couldn't stop myself. So I'm sorry, and if you hate me I understand."

Silence falls over the pair, and Connor thinks she must have left until he hears her breathe in sharply.

"Fuck you, Connor Murphy."

Connor bolts up once again, eyes wide as he stares at her. His jaw hangs open, his thoughts incoherent as they run through his brain. He finally breathes out his words.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me," she spits, pacing around the room, "fuck you, Connor. First you agree to kiss me, and even though it was my first kiss it was literally mind blowing, so much so that I can barely handle looking at you because I wanted to do it again. And then we're at that stupid party and you're smoking and you look so fucking _hot_ that it takes all of my willpower to not shove you in a corner and kiss you until I can't breathe but then you take me outside and you kiss me, you kiss me under the fucking stars like some romance novel and then you run away like a scared little kid," she stops, heaving in a deep breath before continuing, "you ignore my texts and calls for days, and when I all but break into your house to see you you have the _audacity_ to think that I hate you? So yeah, fuck you, because you're literally the best thing that's ever happened to me and you had to go and ruin it by kissing me not once, but _twice_ , and now I can't stop thinking of the feeling of your lips on mine and it's driving me crazy."

She finally stops, standing in front of Connor with her chest rising and falling as she tries to catch her breath. Connor still stares at her, and he finally shakes his head as a smirk forms on his face.

"To be fair, you were the one who asked me to kiss you the first time," he says.

She scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Fuck you."

Connor reaches forward and curls his fingers around her belt loops, still smirking as he pulls her in between his legs.

"Stop me if this isn't what you want," he whispers.

She doesn't stop him, but she doesn't let him make the first move either. Rather, she leans down and practically smashes her lips to his, fingers immediately combing themselves through his hair as his settle on her hips. She straddles his waist, eyes closed as she moves in sync with him.

He pulls away sooner than she wants, but her protests are cut off by him pressing open mouth kisses to her neck, her head tipping back.

"As if I could ever hate you," she breathes, holding Connor's head in place as he focuses his attention on the space where her neck meets her collar bone, "I am mad at you though."

Connor pulls back, wide eyes looking up at her as heavy breaths leave his swollen lips.

"Whaddya mean?"

"We coulda been doing this a week ago you idiot," she shakes her head, pressing a kiss to his lips quickly.

He smiles, and pushes her hair behind her ear.

"So we're more than just best friends now, right?" He asks. "I mean, I'm not reading into this, am I?"

"I don't think I could handle going back to how we were," she says, "if you want this, if you want _us_ , that's what I want too."

"You make my life so much easier, you know that?" He asks, shaking his head in disbelief. "When you asked me to kiss you that day, when you decided that you wanted your first kiss to be with me of all people, it was a no brainer to say yes. Because you made it easy, just like you make everything in my life easy. So yeah," he lets out an airy laugh, "yeah, I want this, I want us, I want _you_."

He kisses her again before she can respond, and she smiles against his lips.

"The two of us have gone from having never been kissed to dating," she smiles again, "helluva week."

Connor nods.

"Can you..." he trails off, looking down at the floor, "will you stay here, with me? No funny business, I just," he shrugs, finally looking back at her, "I don't wanna be without you, at least not right now."

"As long as you'll have me, I'll be here."


End file.
